Restorative Practices vs. Punishment: What Works?

As a Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) coordinator, I am often asked: What’s the best way to handle student behavior? Shouldn’t there be consequences? 

The tension between traditional punishment and restorative practices is real—and it's one of the most important conversations we can have in education today.

Let’s explore the differences between these two approaches and unpack what really works when it comes to building stronger, more inclusive school communities.

The Traditional Punishment Model

For decades, schools have leaned heavily on a punitive approach to discipline. This often includes:

• Detention

• Suspension

• Expulsion

• Public reprimands

• “Zero tolerance” policies

The message is simple: You break the rule, you pay the price.

But here’s the problem—punishment may stop the behavior temporarily, but it doesn’t teach students how to manage their emotions, repair harm, or make better choices next time. In fact, research shows that punitive discipline can increase student disengagement, widen racial and cultural discipline gaps, and even contribute to the school-to-prison pipeline.

What Are Restorative Practices?

Restorative practices are grounded in the belief that relationships matter. When harm is done, it’s not just about breaking a rule—it’s about breaking trust. This approach centers on accountability, healing, and community restoration.

Key restorative practices include:

• Restorative circles

• Peer mediation

• Community conferencing

• Reflective journaling

• One-on-one conversations focused on repair

Instead of asking, “What rule was broken, and how do we punish?” restorative practices ask, “Who was harmed, what are their needs, and how do we make things right?”

Why Restorative Practices Work

1. They build empathy. Students learn to understand the impact of their behavior on others.

2. They reduce repeated misbehavior. By focusing on repairing harm, students are more likely to internalize lessons and change their behavior.

3. They promote equity. Restorative practices help disrupt disproportionate discipline practices that often affect students of color, English language learners, and students with disabilities.

4. They strengthen school culture. When students feel seen, heard, and valued—even when they make mistakes—they are more likely to engage positively with school.

   
   

But What About Consequences?

Restorative practices are not a “get-out-of-jail-free” card. They involve accountability—but it looks different than traditional punishment. Instead of sitting in silence for an hour after school, a student might:

• Apologize and engage in a reflective conversation

• Help repair damaged property

• Participate in a circle to hear directly from those affected

• Collaboratively create an action plan for change

These are consequences rooted in learning, healing, and growth.

A Call for Compassionate Accountability

Restorative practices don’t replace structure or expectations. Instead, they elevate them—by teaching students the social and emotional skills needed to navigate conflict, express themselves, and take ownership of their actions.

At its core, this is about shifting from a culture of compliance to a culture of connection.

When we know better, we do better. Restorative practices aren’t just a trend—they’re a proven, research-based approach that aligns with the heart of SEL. When students feel safe and supported, they don’t just behave better—they belong. And that’s what every child deserves.